Being A Boy Sucks
by alias of a girl
Summary: “I’m a hero! And good looking to boot! I can have any girl I want! So why is it that I have to have a crush on the one GUY that I CAN’T HAVE!” Riku's having boy issues. Poor Riku.


"_I'm a hero damnit! And good looking to boot! I can have any girl I want! So why is it that I have to have a crush on the one GUY that I CAN'T HAVE!"_

This is a yaoi fic. If you don't like it, don't read it. Flames that whine about yaoi will be laughed at. Just a warning. The first two lines are approximate quotes from the end of the game (I'm not sure if those are the exact words or not, but that's generally what Sora and Riku say).

--- a few months after the end of KHII ---

"_Thing's haven't changed, have they?" Riku asked, as Sora came up behind him and leaned against the paopu tree. Sora crossed his arms._

"_Nope. And they never will."_

Riku smirked. Right. So things hadn't changed for the first couple of days. Sure, Selphie and Tidus and Wakka had been happy to see them, as had their parents, but it took a good two weeks before people started to realize the weight and importance of what had happened and what Sora and Riku had done. Once they did, things started to change. Now, neither could go anywhere without a handful of 'groupies' following them around. They were local heroes and, with that status, they suddenly became the most eligible bachelors on the Islands. They basked in the attention at first, but it became tiresome quickly. For the past month or so, all either of them wanted was some peace. Kairi had some of the attention too, but she was constantly and insistently humble about it and people started to leave her alone. No such luck for the boys, so they spent increasingly more time together, finding that when they were together, the groupies kept their distance. They both came to a quick understanding of why so many people had problems dealing with fame. Almost two months to the day after their return was Sora's birthday, and Kairi had spent weeks planning the party. Riku had been looking forward to it for nearly a month, since it would offer a day of escape. Sora, Riku, Tidus and Wakka were sitting in the living room, with the lights out. Sora was sitting in an armchair next to a couch, where Tidus and Wakka were sitting. Riku was stretched out on the couch on the other wall. Selphie and Kairi were in the kitchen, lighting the candles on the enormous cake.

"Happy Birthday to me!" Sora started to sing when the girls emerged carrying the delicacy. Wakka joined him in song first, and everyone else followed. He blew out the candles and Wakka jumped to his feet.

"Let's EAT!" He shouted excitedly. Selphie grinned.

"Relax Wakka, we have to cut it first."

"But I want cake now!" Tidus whined. Selphie leaned over him, whispered something him his ear that made him blush, and then kissed him.

"Get a room, man!" Wakka told them, looking mildly disgusted. Selphie made a face.

"Hey Kairi! Wakka gets his cake last, okay?" She called into the kitchen, where clinking dishes could be heard as Kairi prepared to serve. Wakka's face drooped.

"What? Why!" He demanded. Selphie just giggled and disappeared into the kitchen, reappearing a moment later with a plate in her hands.

"Riku gets the first piece, since he's the only one that hasn't whined yet." She said, handing Riku the plate. He grinned triumphantly. Sora pouted.

"But I haven't whined! And I'm the birthday boy!" He complained. Selphie crossed her arms.

"Well you're whining now." She answered matter-of-factly.

"But I'm the birthday boy!" Sora insisted. Riku sighed and sat up.

"Alright, you can have my cake if it'll shut you up, okay?" He said, offering his plate to the grinning newly-16-year-old. Sora nodded, getting to his feet and taking the piece. The fork dropped to the floor with a clatter and both reached for it. Riku leaned over and grabbed it, Sora's hand arriving a moment later. The tan fingers brushing against his skin sent numbing ripples up his arm. Riku managed to close his hand around the metal and pick it up. No one else seemed to notice anything unusual, except Kairi. She was standing at the kitchen door, a look of mild interest on her face. The moment was quickly forgotten however, as Selphie brought more of the dessert into the living room. Soon, everyone was served. Sora had collapsed into peals of laughter and Tidus' face was as red as a tomato. Riku, who hadn't been paying that much attention to Tidus' antics, looked confused.

"What's so funny?"

"Tidus just tried to swallow a mouthful of cake twice the size of this mouth." Sora explained after he calmed enough to speak.

"That must have been one huge piece of cake. Tidus has a big mouth." Selphie noted casually. At this both Sora and Riku started laughing and Tidus reddened again.

"That's not funny! I do not have a big mouth!" He replied heatedly.

"I dunno, man. I'm gonna agree with Selphie on this one." Wakka said. Sora laughed again, his impossibly blue eyes dancing. Riku fell silent and just watched. Kairi, who was sitting next to Riku, nudged him. He didn't reply. She blinked, nudging him again.

"Riku." Again, no reply. "Riku!" She said, elbowing him properly in the side. He let out a grunt and rubbed his rib where she'd hit him.

"That hurt." He stated firmly.

"Sorry, but you weren't answering." She told him. He wasn't listening again. She narrowed her eyes at him. His eyes were fixed. Sora stood up to get seconds and Riku's eyes followed him. Kairi smirked. Then Riku's eyes fell on her.

"Kairi, we have to talk." He told her. "I can't do this any more. Come on." He ordered getting to his feet. She frowned.

"Now?" She asked, not wanting to leave. He gave her a pleading look, the likes of which she could never imagine him ever having. _Poor Riku, something's really wrong,_ she thought with a sigh, standing up and beckoning for him to follow. She took him upstairs and into Sora's room. He shut the door softly and she sat down on the bed.

"Tell me what's wrong." She ordered. Riku began to rant.

"Kairi, I can't take this anymore! Everyone is holding me and Sora high like heroes! I gave into the darkness, so I'm not even a real hero!"

"Sora would argue with you on that." Kairi interrupted.

"I know that!" Riku snapped. "But that's Sora, he doesn't understand what the darkness is like, he's never experienced it. He'd think otherwise if he actually knew."

"He was a Heartless to save me, remember? He knows." Kairi interrupted again. Riku sighed and a long silence followed.

"Okay, but that's not the issue. It's these stupid groupies! Sora can have any girl he wants, but none of them like him for him, they like him because he wields the Keyblade!" He shouted. "I'm in the same boat." He added, after a moment. Kairi crossed her arms.

"So, is that problem that none of the girls like you for who you are, or that you're afraid one of girls who are after Sora will hurt him?" She asked quietly. There was another long pause. "Sora knows more about the heart than you might think. He knows that their affections aren't real." Riku nodded.

"I know. I'm just used to being the older one, the one who protects you two." He paused. Neither Sora nor Riku had told anyone what had happened during and after the last battle with Xemnas. _I'm supposed to protect him. But it was Sora saved me from Xemnas' final blow, and Sora who carried me out of the darkness._ He sighed, and then his old frustration returned. "I'm a hero damnit! And good looking to boot! I can have any girl I want!" He shouted.

"Someone has an over-inflated ego." Kairi noted, interrupting him. Riku glared at her.

"Ego or not, it's true that I could have just about any girl I wanted. So why is it that I have to have a crush on the one _guy_ that I _can't have_!" He demanded, kicking at the air. He quieted and looked upset. "I hope he doesn't hate me." He said. Kairi shrugged.

"He doesn't."

"But he will if I tell him."

"Why would he hate you?"

"Because I'm his best friend and I have a crush on him!"

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean he'll hate you."

"Okay, but that still doesn't fix my problem. Even if he doesn't hate me, he doesn't like me either."

"You'd be surprised."

"You're right, I would be surprised." Riku shot back, frustrated. "He's the Keyblade Master. My chances with someone like him are pretty bleak."

"You're best friends. If anyone's got a chance, it's you." Kairi answered. Riku smiled sadly.

"Thanks, but I know you're only saying that to make me feel better. Why does this love stuff have to be so damn hard? Why is it that when I could have anybody I want, I have to fall for my best friend, the _only_ one I don't have a chance with?" He asked, forlorn.

"Because love is never fair." Kairi answered. "I used to have a crush on Sora, too. That came to an abrupt end when I found out I couldn't have him. Besides…" She trailed off.

"You don't like Sora anymore? And besides what?" Riku asked hurriedly. Kairi nodded.

"I used to like Sora, but he told me something that showed me his heart lay elsewhere. Besides, I think it's the cutest thing I've ever heard! Especially since now…" She paused. "Never mind." She said with a coy grin. Riku glared at her.

"No! Tell me!" He insisted. She shook her head.

"I was sworn to secrecy." She answered, pausing. "But, I mean, all things considered, it might be a good thing to tell you…but I did promise…" She looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Now, if I swore you to secrecy, you shouldn't be going around telling people my secret." An amused voice said. Riku spun around to face the door, and Kairi got to her feet to see over Riku's shoulder, as he was blocking her view of the intruder. Sora was standing in the doorway in all his cheeky glory, leaning against the doorframe with the grin of a child who outsmarted his elders. Riku gaped at him.

"How long have you been there for?" He asked after his voice returned to him.

"Long enough." Sora answered smugly. Riku whirled around to face Kairi.

"You! You planned all of this out, didn't you?" He accused. Kairi shook her head.

"I didn't know he was there any more than you did." She answered truthfully, stepping around him and trying to hide a grin. "I think I'll leave you two alone for a while." She said, crossing the room, stepping past Sora and disappearing down the hall.

"You know, if you want to have a private conversation about me while I'm in the house, you probably shouldn't start shouting about me." Sora stated, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. Riku reddened.

"Oh, right. Sorry." He mumbled. Sora grinned.

"So did Kairi really have a crush on me?" He asked, enjoying the fact that he had complete control of the conversation. _It's usually Riku who's all calm and collected, usually me who's all flustered and clumsy. I think I enjoy this switch, _Sora thought with a grin. Riku blinked at him.

"She's liked you since forever. Everybody knew. Thick-headed as you are, I'm still surprised you didn't know." Riku told him with a smirk.

"Harsh words to use on someone you have such a huge crush on." Sora answered, inspecting his fingernails. Riku reddened again.

"So, what did you say to Kairi that made her so sure you didn't like her?" He asked, in a hurry to change the subject.

"You're not the only one who talks to Kairi when you're having romantic problems." Sora answered. Riku tried not to look curious.

"So you like someone else?"

"Maybe." Sora answered uninterestedly.

"Who?" Riku asked, still trying to look like he didn't actually care, and failing miserably at it. Sora grinned evilly.

"Guess." He replied. Riku frowned, and then stared blankly at Sora. Sora waited impatiently for an answer. After giving Riku about five seconds of pondering, he let out an impatient sigh. At ten seconds, he sighed again, catching Riku's shoulder and pushing him against the wall, pressing his mouth heatedly over the older boy's. Out of breath, but by no means done, Sora smirked his triumphant smirk.

"And _you_ called _me_ an idiot." He breathed.

"Thick-headed." Riku corrected, his breathing ragged. Sora frowned.

"I am not thick-headed!" He stated indignantly, stepping back and crossing his arms. Riku moved towards him, one arm snaking around his waist.

"I was correcting you, baka. I called you thick-headed before, I didn't call you an idiot."

"Oh." Sora paused, distracted as Riku drew him closer. "But I'm still not thick-headed."

"Uh-huh." Riku replied disbelievingly, tangling the fingers of his free hand in Sora's hair and drawing him closer still. Sora buried his own fingers in Riku's hair.

"Not…baka…either…" He added, his voice lacking any conviction whatsoever and loosing any will to speak at all. Riku brushed his lips against Sora's, hushing him. He grinned mischievously.

"I get to be on top." He whispered after a moment. Sora started.

"W-what?" He asked, paling. Riku laughed huskily and quieted Sora with his mouth.

----------------------------------------------------

Sora was sitting on the bottom step of the stairwell, Riku sitting on the step behind him.

"How are we going to tell them?" Sora asked after a moment.

"Kairi already knows, but the rest of them… let's wait until they ask." Riku answered. Sora pouted.

"But that could take forever!" He complained. Riku grinned.

"Sora, you've been missing from your own birthday party for over an hour, with me. They're going to ask questions." He answered matter-of-factly. Sora twisted around to look at him.

"And what do you propose we say?" He asked with a 'hmph'.

"Well, you could tell them that you just lost your virginity to the sexiest man alive…" Riku replied with an impish grin. Sora blushed furiously.

"No way!" He cried. The shout drew attention and Selphie found them a moment later.

"There you are! Kairi said you went to rent a movie…" She said, looking confused. Sora blinked, not having a clue what she was talking about. Riku nodded.

"We did, but there were late fees and whatever so we had to come back for some more money." He said, lying through his teeth. Sora was momentarily impressed by Kairi's fiction, and Riku's ability to lie on the spot. Selphie nodded, accepting the story, and the two followed her back into the living room. Sora flopped down into his original spot. Tidus blinked at him.

"What to you so long?" He paused. "What's that?" He asked, pointing. There was a bite mark on his shoulder, just visible above the collar of his shirt. Sora tugged at the collar to hide it.

"It's nothing." He answered, grimacing at how bad a liar he was as he looked at Riku, who had stopped trying to blow his bangs out of his face to look amused. Tidus blinked at Riku, who grinned vampirishly. Tidus' eyes went wider than anyone had ever seen them before. Sora grinned.

"Careful, or your eyes'll pop right out of your head."

"_You_ did that?" Tidus asked Riku, shocked. Wakka scratched the back of his head.

"Wha'd he do?" He asked, sounding lost.

"HE BIT HIM!" Tidus cried, still in shock. Wakka looked even more confused.

"Why would he do that…?" Wakka asked slowly. Tidus bit his lip.

"I don't know." He paused, while Sora and Riku gaped at them for being so clueless. Tidus watched them suspiciously for a long moment. "Unless they… OH MY GOD!" He shouted, jumping up out of his seat and pointing an accusing finger at Riku. Riku paid no attention to Tidus whatsoever and was grinning at Sora, who grinned back, and the two of them burst out laughing. Selphie walked back in from out in the kitchen.

"So, what's going on with the movie?" She asked, giving Tidus a strange look because he was standing on his tip-toes, still pointing at Riku and his mouth was hanging open. Tidus looked like he was going to speak, then stopped for a moment, before finally saying,

"Why are you laughing? Does that mean it's a joke…?" He asked slowly. Wakka pouted.

"Somebody tell me what's goin' on, man!" He demanded. Riku grinned at Tidus.

"What do you think?" He asked. Selphie put her hands on her hips.

"Are you guys going to get the movie or not!" She demanded. Sora looked confused.

"What mov--OH! Ummmm…." He glanced at Riku, who had a look on his face that said _you said it, so you have to explain. Haha. _Sora pouted at him. Riku grinned evilly.

"Well Sora? Aren't you going to answer her?" He asked, trying to sound innocent. Sora glared at him. _So much for being all smooth like I was upstairs. I should have known it wouldn't last._

"It was your idea to go, Riku. Why don't you explain?" He answered, looking smug. Riku smiled and Sora faltered, thinking maybe his plan was going to backfire.

"Alright, we'll go get the movie. We'll be back in…two hours. At the least." He said. Sora grinned, getting to his feet with a little bit too much enthusiasm to be about just renting a movie. Selphie looked exasperated.

"Why on earth would it take you _two hours_ to walk down the street and get a movie? And now that I think about it, why did it take you so long to get there and realize that you have late fees? The rental place is five minutes walk at the most." She accused. Tidus made a face.

"You didn't even leave the house, did you? Aww, you were doing it upstairs? While we were all still here? Have you no decency!" He demanded. Sora shrugged.

"This _is_ my house, after all. Anyways, we'll be back eventually." He said, grinning widely. Selphie frowned.

"You never answered my question!" She said frustratedly. Riku waved a hand at her.

"Ask Tidus. He's the only one who caught on. Kairi knows too. I think." As he spoke, he nudged Sora and the two of them walked out of the room. They put their shoes on and stepped outside. They stood on the front porch and discovered that it had started raining. Sora sighed, mocking disappointment.

"Too bad. Looks like we won't be able to make it to the video store."

"You actually thought we were going to the video store?" Riku asked, unimpressed. Sora made a face.

"No. I was being sarcastic." He paused. "And anyways, it's my turn to be on top." He added with an angelic smile. Riku smirked.

"We'll see about that." He said, wrapping his arms around Sora's waist and pulling him close. He stared into those sapphire eyes that had so entranced him, and then kissed the younger boy. They took barely a moment to breathe for a full minute, possibly longer, before they finally broke apart and movement out of the corner of his eye caught Sora's attention. He glanced just to his left and then rested his forehead on Riku's shoulder, laughing quietly. Riku tilted his head so that his lips were pressed against Sora's ear.

"What's so funny?" He asked warmly, quite sure that this moment couldn't get any more perfect. There was a long pause, in which Riku took in everything around him. The rain, the shadowy slate-gray light that shone through the clouds, the slightly cool temperature outside that made Sora's warmth all the more welcoming. Sora turned his head so that Riku could feel his breath on his neck.

"I forgot that there's a window. Everyone can see us." He said, sounding resignedly amused. Riku glanced over. Indeed, Selphie and Wakka were both staring disbelievingly, Tidus looked like he was going to explode with 'I told you so's and Kairi was standing very still with her hands clasped together and a grin so wide that Riku wouldn't be surprised if her mouth was permanently stretched. He grinned evilly.

"Then let's give them something to see, shall we?"

…………………………………

This is dedicated to Emma, without whom I never, ever, ever would have been able to finish this! Hearts to you! PS: this is my first ever true yaoi fic, so **constructive **criticism would be awesome. As I said before however, if you flame, I will roast marshmallows. M'kay? Right on! Review please!


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